Agent Orange is sitting at a drafting table at stage right. He is poring diligently over unrolled charts maps atlases physiology texts. His riding crop lies beside him. Also in evidence are an alarm clock a drafting compass rulers pencils a telephone a bottle of whisky a shotglass handcuffs and condoms. At stage left is a setup for an elegant dinner for two: chairs clothed table silverware plates atop which cloth napkins are folded into pyramids two slender white candles in silver candleholders a vase with two roses.
Bunny Stuffings appears at stage left wearing a pink negligee lined with white fur. She is carrying a silver pail with ice and a bottle of white wine.
Bunny S---honeylove, i'm ready.
Agent Orange doesn't look up.
Bunny S---you said 8:30!
Agent O---as i stated yesterday, the invasion is scheduled to begin anytime after 20:30.
Bunny S---but when?
Agent O---as i stated yesterday, tonight's invasion is going to be a surprise attack. if i tell you when, well that'll spoil all the fun. won't it, Bunny?
Bunny S---ooo, this is so exciting! i'll bet you can't catch me! bet you can't!
Agent O---now you go dig yourself in good sweetheart. i'm going to strike without warning. i don't anticipate much resistance but you've surprised me in the past. this time there will be no negotiations. there will be no peace settlement. i'm determined to mount an offensive and i'm determined to succeed in meeting my objectives.
Bunny S---what if i surrender?
Agent O---it's too late. the peace table is closed. your only hope is that penetration will be quick.
Bunny S---ooo, honey you are so erotic! i've got some surprises in store for you too. i'm going to go get in position!
Bunny disappears offstage. Agent Orange pours himself a shot of whisky and picks up the telephone, dials once tapping his riding crop slowly on the table.
Agent O---the hawk is spreading his wings. operation sweet honey is underway. you may now enter the hive.
Agent Orange hangs up, stands up, drinks his whisky. From offstage comes Bunny's shriek and a tremendous crashing. she reappears struggling in the twofisted grips of two men in military uniforms, camoflaged pants and olive tshirts, each holding one of her bare arms. They have stern, determined, emotionless faces. they drag her to the table. One of them briskly sweeps the entire setup onto the floor, dishes clattering, glasses shattering. They pin her to the table. Bunny is hysterical, writhing, her hair astray.
Bunny S---oh my god honey what's going on? who are these men?
Agent O---[unbuckling trousers] these are my allies Bunny. i needed them in order to insure a swift and succesful operation.
Bunny S---let me go! let me go! make them let me go! this isn't fun anymore!
Agent Orange drops his trousers revealing white shorts patterned with red lips. Pants around his ankles, he waddles towards her, riding crop in his hand. All three men are emotionless steel.
Agent O---the first battle has only just begun.
Bunny S---stop! help! help! (loud piercing scream and
blac