Varations on "Looking Back"

Ten Variations on

"Looking Back"

by William Gillespie

1. PRIME

(25 paragraphs of 18 words eachJ)

Pressing thoughts, Jim Hardesty noticed a car following him, startled, irritated. Usually morning's hand brushed the country clean.

The road from Gunnison to Salida twisted. When alone, Jim's mind got lost in the road's sinuous paths.

But now there was a woman in a grey car behind him. She kept close to his bumper.

She didn't pass. Her face was hard to see. She gazed out her window, apparently oblivious of Jim.

The woman was distracting. Jim said something and scowled at his reflection. He looked like his father Roy.

Pass me why don't you, Jim said. He failed to establish eye contact with her in the mirror.

He braked to 30 to make her pass him. The woman drew dangerously close momentarily, then slowed down.

Jim sped up to 75. The woman caught up with him. They decelerated and accelerated again. Jim sang.

They continued this. His mind grew distant from his actions. He forgot and remembered again. She continued tailgating.

Jim's attention shifted back and forth. He whipped around a curve, braking instinctively. He checked his mirror again.

She wasn't there. I shouldn't have robbed that bank! Jim cried. This was exactly what he wanted, but.

Her car was skidding off the road. It disappeared with a horrifying silence; then he heard a crunch.

Jim hissed and felt paralyzed by pain. His hands crawled over one another to pull his car over.

Jim stepped onto the road. Pebbles easily distracted him from the sound of breaking glass over and over.

Jim saw trees. He saw his car, keys in the ignition. Wasn't he supposed to be at work?

Jim looked at the earth, the trees, the white sky, and sparrows. Jim looked inside the crushed car.

                                     *                  *                  *

She was dead. Jim felt nauseous. He stood, his back to the car, rolling around in his thoughts.

Jim is feeling ill today, he thought, please excuse him from witnessing any horrible deaths. It made sense.

Maybe she wanted something! Jim studied the back of his car. Had the license or hubcap fallen off?

No. If she wanted me to stop, Jim thought, she would have honked or signalled. She should have.

She was an idiot! For the moment, Jim convinced himself that the woman's death was her own fault.

[]

Yet the more Jim reflected, the more he took the burden of death. I should have pulled over!

This is a stupid way for me to drive home, anyway! Every event had pointed to this outcome.

Jim heard tires on gravel. It was a police car. The world had accidently shrunk to two people.

The officer approached. "She followed me," was all he could say, and he said it again and again.

2. ONE SENTENCE

Pressing thoughts, Jim Hardesty noticed a car following him, and found himself startled and irritated because morning's hand usually brushed the country clean along the road from Gunnison to Salida which twisted and, when alone, Jim's mind got lost in the road's sinuous paths but now there was a woman in a grey car behind him who kept close to his bumper and didn't pass and, somehow, her face was hard to see as she gazed out her window, apparently oblivious of Jim, whom she was distracting from saying something and scowling at his reflection -- which looked like his father Roy -- so Jim said Pass me why don't you, failing to establish eye contact with her in the mirror, and braked to 30 to make her pass him causing her to draw dangerously close momentarily, then slow down, to which Jim responded by speeding up to 75 until the woman caught up with him and they decelerated and accelerated again (Jim sang) and they continued this as his mind grew distant from his actions he forgot and remembered again while she continued tailgating Jim's attention shifted back and forth and he whipped around a curve, braking instinctively, and checked his mirror again but she wasn't there and cried I shouldn't have robbed that bank!because this was exactly what he wanted, but her car was skidding off the road, and disappeared with a horrifying silence; then Jim heard a crunch, hissed, and felt paralyzed by pain, and his hands crawled over one another to pull his car over until Jim stepped onto the road whose pebbles easily distracted him from the sound of breaking glass over and over as did trees and his car, keys in the ignition (Wasn't he supposed to be at work?), the earth, the trees, the white sky, and sparrows, but despite all these distractions Jim looked inside the crushed car, saw that she was dead, felt nauseous, and stood rolling around in his thoughts: Jim is feeling ill today, he thought, please excuse him from witnessing any horrible deaths, which made sense, and suddenly he realized that Maybe she wanted something! and studied the back of his car to see if maybe the license or hubcap had fallen off but no, and Jim understood then that If she wanted me to stop she would have, should have, honked or signalled -- the idiot! and, for the moment, Jim convinced himself that the woman's death was her own fault yet the more Jim reflected, the more he took the burden of death and began to think I should have pulled over because this is a stupid way for me to drive home, anyway! and he knew that every event had pointed to this outcome as he heard the tires on gravel of a police car in a world which had accidently shrunk to two people and, as the officer approached, "she followed me" was all he could say, and he said it again and again.

3.  REVERSE CHRONOLOGY: PARAGRAPHS

The officer approached. "She followed me," was all he could say, and he said it again and again.

Jim heard tires on gravel. It was a police car. The world had accidently shrunk to two people.

This is a stupid way for me to drive home, anyway! Every event had pointed to this outcome.

Yet the more Jim reflected, the more he took the burden of death. I should have pulled over!

She was an idiot! For the moment, Jim convinced himself that the woman's death was her own fault.

No. If she wanted me to stop, Jim thought, she would have honked or signalled. She should have.

Maybe she wanted something! Jim studied the back of his car. Had the license or hubcap fallen off?

Jim is feeling ill today, he thought, please excuse him from witnessing any horrible deaths. It made sense.

She was dead. Jim felt nauseous. He stood, his back to the car, rolling around in his thoughts.

                                     *                  *                  *

Jim looked at the earth, the trees, the white sky, and sparrows. Jim looked inside the crushed car.

Jim saw trees. He saw his car, keys in the ignition. Wasn't he supposed to be at work?

Jim stepped onto the road. Pebbles easily distracted him from the sound of breaking glass over and over.

Jim hissed and felt paralyzed by pain. His hands crawled over one another to pull his car over.

Her car was skidding off the road. It disappeared with a horrifying silence; then he heard a crunch.

She wasn't there. I shouldn't have robbed that bank! Jim cried. This was exactly what he wanted, but.

Jim's attention shifted back and forth. He whipped around a curve, braking instinctively. He checked his mirror again.

They continued this. His mind grew distant from his actions. He forgot and remembered again. She continued tailgating.

Jim sped up to 75. The woman caught up with him. They decelerated and accelerated again. Jim sang.

He braked to 30 to make her pass him. The woman drew dangerously close momentarily, then slowed down.

Pass me why don't you, Jim said. He failed to establish eye contact with her in the mirror.

The woman was distracting. Jim said something and scowled at his reflection. He looked like his father Roy.

She didn't pass. Her face was hard to see. She gazed out her window, apparently oblivious of Jim.

But now there was a woman in a grey car behind him. She kept close to his bumper.

The road from Gunnison to Salida twisted. When alone, Jim's mind got lost in the road's sinuous paths.

Pressing thoughts, Jim Hardesty noticed a car following him, startled, irritated. Usually morning's hand brushed the country clean.

4. REVERSE CHRONOLOGY: SENTENCES

"She followed me," was all he could say, and he said it again and again. The officer approached. The world had accidently shrunk to two people. It was a police car. Jim heard tires on gravel. Every event had pointed to this outcome. This is a stupid way for me to drive home, anyway! I should have pulled over! Yet the more Jim reflected, the more he took the burden of death. For the moment, Jim convinced himself that the woman's death was her own fault. She was an idiot! She should have. If she wanted me to stop, Jim thought, she would have honked or signalled. No. Had the license or hubcap fallen off? Jim studied the back of his car. Maybe she wanted something! It made sense. Jim is feeling ill today, he thought, please excuse him from witnessing any horrible deaths. He stood, his back to the car, rolling around in his thoughts. Jim felt nauseous. She was dead.

                                     *                  *                  *

Jim looked inside the crushed car. Jim looked at the earth, the trees, the white sky, and sparrows. Wasn't he supposed to be at work? He saw his car, keys in the ignition. Jim saw trees. Pebbles easily distracted him from the sound of breaking glass over and over. Jim stepped onto the road. His hands crawled over one another to pull his car over. Jim hissed and felt paralyzed by pain. It disappeared with a horrifying silence; then he heard a crunch. Her car was skidding off the road. This was exactly what he wanted, but. I shouldn't have robbed that bank! Jim cried. She wasn't there. He checked his mirror again. He whipped around a curve, braking instinctively. Jim's attention shifted back and forth. They continued this. His mind grew distant from his actions. He forgot and remembered again. She continued tailgating. Jim sang. They decelerated and accelerated again. The woman caught up with him. Jim sped up to 75. The woman drew dangerously close momentarily, then slowed down. He braked to 30 to make her pass him. He failed to establish eye contact with her in the mirror. Pass me why don't you, Jim said. He looked like his father Roy. Jim said something and scowled at his reflection. The woman was distracting. She gazed out her window, apparently oblivious of Jim. Her face was hard to see. She didn't pass. She kept close to his bumper. But now there was a woman in a grey car behind him. When alone, Jim's mind got lost in the road's sinuous paths. The road from Gunnison to Salida twisted. Usually morning's hand brushed the country clean. Pressing thoughts, Jim Hardesty noticed a car following him, startled, irritated.

5. REVERSE CAUSALITY

Because a policeman would arrive shortly (causing who to call for help?) the grey car around the woman drove off the road causing Jim, who was driving in front of her and would neither let her pass nor drive slower than him, to drive too quickly around a tight curve. His car pulled over to the side of the road so he walked to the wreck to see if she was dead so she died.

6. REVERSE SUBJECT/OBJECT

One morning, driving its owner home from a job it had to be at, Jim Hardesty's car was noticed by a grey car it was preceding. Jim's car continued to precede the grey car, because the grey car caused it to speed up and slow down. Finally a curve in the road passed them too quickly causing a ditch to envelop the grey car. The police car brought the policeman. All because the woman the grey car was driving was predestined to die in its wreck on that particular road on that particular morning because that was where and when Jim Hardesty was going to repeat the words "she followed me" until the policeman came.

7. PLOT CURVE RETROGRADE

Pressing thoughts on his way home from work one morning, Jim Hardesty noticed a car following him. Intruder! Jim cursed! This was horrible! Jim trembled with rage, his fists squeezing the steering wheel out of shape. Then he began to feel better. He sped up and slowed down and sped up and slowed down. The woman continued to follow him. He hummed a little tune and got distracted. Happily lost in his thoughts he went around a curve too fast and the woman went off the road with a crunch. Jim happily continued on his way. It was a stupid way to drive home anyway, especially since he had to be at work.

8. PLOTCURVE INVERSION

If that damn woman doesn't pass me, I swear I'll vent a fury so hellish the earth shall be wreaked by blight for centuries! Jim swore to himself. Suddenly he was distracted by a reflection of his father in the rearview mirror in which he could not see the face of the woman following him, shrouded, as she was, in mystery. So thus it was with lackadaisical happy-go-lucky ambivalence that Jim led her around a curve too fast causing her car to careen gently off the road and slightly crash in a ditch. So many pretty pebbles there were, and green trees possibly with animals, and clouds probably with birds, that Jim felt tranquil as he sauntered over to the glittering wreck and looked inside. She was dead. With a shrieking of sirens a cop car screeched to a halt by the side of the road. Horror of horrors! I am aghast with shame and stand at the portal of eternal blame! was all he could say, and he said it again and again.

9. PLOTCURVE RETROGRADE INVERSION

Except for that stupid damn woman following him, everything was basically okay, except that she was getting on his nerves so much that he gradually became furious and drove her slowly off the road and slammed on his brakes, got out of his car, ran back to her wreck and kicked her until she was dead and the police arrived and shot him.

10. INTERNAL MONOLOGUE

Pass me, why don't you. There aren't any cars around for miles. It's a passing zone! Go around me! La, la, la, I tailgate people no matter what. Jesus. [the sound of breaking glass over and over] Cute little pebbles. What could be in there, back behind those trees? Some animals maybe. There's an idea, how convenient. Wasn't he supposed to be at work, or something. Jim is feeling ill today, please excuse him from witnessing any horrible deaths. Maybe she wanted something! That's why she drove so close! Did she want me to stop? If she had really wanted me to stop, she would have honked, or signalled me, or something. At least that's what she should have done! She was just an idiot. One lousy driver. She must've been ignoring her speedometer altogether, and just judged how fast to go by however fast I was going. But dammit, she didn't have to tailgate me while she was doing it. I should have just pulled off the road anyway, whether she wanted me to or not! It would have been so simple...she would've had no choice but to pass me, and then she'd still be alive! I shouldn't even have been on this road in the first place--then she would've paid more attention to how fast she was going. This is such a stupid way for me to drive home, anyway!