Puppets |
1æ´ô4lííîïïB:NORMAL.STYIBMPROó@–ííîµwhat they're gonna do that summer:
1. [uni] job restaurant frog convinces orange thing 2. [medstudents] medschool medicine orange convinces bird 3. [clarkecollegekids] go to california man music bird convinces frog
frog rick kermitesque ssds choice vs imagination bird william dude styledictatessimplesolutions
orange mark reads a lot process vs goal
will the puppets fit into rick's briefcase?
puppetshow for designing society
1
Nonexistent Restaurants
frog what do you respond when people ask you what you're going to do this summer?
orange get a job, take some classes, travel.
frog no no, what do you respond?
orange get a job, take some classes, travel. those are my choices.
frog those your choices of how to respond to that question. if you said something like write poetry
orange or compose new music
frog or write theatre
orange or compose a new society, people would look at me funny. i know dad would.
frog what if i asked you what you were going to do this summer and told you your answer had to be something i had never heard before.
orange what?
frog what are you going to do this summer?
orange i don't know. *sigh* get a restaurant job.
frog can you describe a restaurant that doesn't exist?
orange huh? that's easy. at front there's a host or hostesss who takes you to a table or booth and tells you that your waiter or waitress will be by momentarily to bring you a menu with your choices and then you
frog nope. i asked you to describe a restaurant that doesn't exist. you described every restaurant that ever existed!
orange oh. well okay. at this restaurant there's no host or hostess or table or booth or waiter or um waitress. there are no employees there at all!
frog yes, yes, now what IS there?
orange oh. well okay there's... a big kitchen with lots of food that anyone can walk in and prepare for themselves or with a group of friends. who's going to pay for this?
frog don't worry about that or you'll be describing a restaurant that exists again.
orange okay okay. the kitchen is huge and filled with cooking equipment. there are no doors on the cabinets and no drawers - all the utensils are hanging - so everything is fairly easy to find. the center of the kitchen has huge wooden tables for cutting vegetables and along the outside a wall of ovens and a long row of flames - no backburners. all with room for plenty of elbows. the kitchen opens out onto a huge screened porch with big picnic tables that offere a view of the mountains. is it okay if i put mountains in the background? they exist.
frog sure.
orange who washes the dishes?
frog don't worry about that. yet. what are you going to do this summer?
orange oof! get a dishwashing job?
frog how would you like to spend your summer describing a society that doesn't exist?
2
Preventative Medicine
- the previous day -
Orange good afternoon, i'm from canada. i'm your doctor. i heard you were feeling fine.
Bird but i'm feeling fine.
Orange and i'm here to make sure you stay that way. i specialize in preventative medicine. i can't prevent disease if it's already too late. i'm from the canadian central office.
Bird but this is chicago.
Orange canada is overbudgeted this year so we've had to export a few doctors.
Bird you caught me just as i was cooking dinner.
Orange perfect. let's take a look at what we're having. mmm, sauteeing a little garlic i see...
Bird i like to have garlic every once in a while. i suppose its bad for you...
Orange on the contrary, garlic reduces the risk of heart disease and strengthens the immune system. have you ever tried sauteeing with olive oil instead of butter? it's lower it chloresterol and i think it sets off the flavor of the garlic quite well. anyhow, your diet seems pretty good.
Bird are onions okay?
Orange oh yes please. hey, careful with that chopper. let me show you how to cut those...
- the next day -
waking up in bed together with nightcaps?
Orange looks like a perfect day to walk to work.
Bird but my job is so tiring already!
Orange you'll be less tired if you walk. the fatigue you feel is a result of not moving enough. walking will bring more muscles into play and improve your circulation, not to mention the vitamin D3 your skin will produce with the sunlight. it's going to be winter soon and the absence of daylight hours will render you susceptible to depression. where do we work again?
Bird i work in a factory.
Orange i have a feeling i'm not going to like this job.
Bird no, it's not what you think. it's a nice clean factory. a chemical company.
Orange what?!
Bird it's a pharmaceutical company. we manufacture antidepressants.
Orange we'll see about that. anyway, what's for breakfast?
Bird we're running kind of late. coffee and donuts?
Orange let's not worry about being late today. i make a pretty good omelette. if that sounds good, i'd like to prescribe it.
Bird okay doctor.
- later that same day - (factory sounds)
Orange yuk! what's that smell?
Bird prozac. see that barrel?
Orange is this one of those factories where you do the same job day after day?
Bird no.
Orange thank goodness.
Bird they rotate us around every month. today we're watching over the lithium carbonate. be sure to wear these gloves because its side effects include muscle spasms, headaches, impaired breathing, reduced binocular disparity...
Orange listen, don't punch in just yet. there's no way you can remain healthy working in this place. just find a place to rest somewhere with fresh air. i need to make some changes. where's the main office?
- at a subsequent moment in time -
Bird are you sure i should be working out here in the sun all day, gardening?
Orange you're welcome to a second opinion: i'm a specialist, i'll admit it. anyway, these herbs you're growing will cure a wider range of maladies with significantly fewer sideeffects than the old line of patented chemicals, to say nothing of the relative impact on the environment. i'm gonna go build a compost pile. i'll see you when it's time to go home.
- dinner -
Bird yum. great avacado. thanks for the checkup. owe you anything?
Orange no. you're covered. pass the guava. i think you should put a sheet of quarter inch plywood between the box springs and the mattress, its better for your vertebrae because of your - you know - back problem.
1Bird i don't have a back problem.
Orange i know, that's why i'm preventing one. (looks over clipboard) let's see... i replaced the third step on the back porch, it looked like it was about to bust. oh, and i repaired your bicycle tire so you can ride to work more often. make sure you wear that helmet i bought you. it looks like you're going to be healthy for a while.
Bird thanks doctor. when's my next checkup ?
Orange in a year, unless...
Bird i get sick. i know: you can't prevent disease if i already have one.
Orange exactly. it looks like a lot of changes are going to have to be made to our present society, yours and mine, in order for me to have any disease to prevent at all. we need to live in a society in which all human needs are met unconditionally, not just medical needs. i've got to find the american prime minister and have a long talk with her. which way is the central government?
Bird east.
- one second later -
orange see you next year. unless... what you going to do this summer?
bird what are you kidding me? i'm in med school.
orange oh yeah? we'll see about that. do you know how sick that can make you?
3.
Unfamiliar Music
bird [w/plastic sunglasses] that dude was right. i'm dropping out of med school. i'm going to south dakota. gonna start a band.
frog what kind of music do you like?
bird oh, i dunno. there are so many choices. i like all kinds of music. i like metal, heavy metal, thrashmetal, speedmetal, gothmetal, deathmetal, classic metal, light metal, accordion metal, big band metal... [frog should have interrupted him long ago]
frog what's your favorite song?
bird oh, i dunno. there are so many choices. i like all songs. i like...
frog did you write them?
bird what?
frog the songs you like?
bird no.
frog good!
bird why?
frog that means you've only written songs you don't like yet. you've only written the songs that don't exist.
[enter orange thing]
orange what does writing a song sound like?
frog can you describe music nobody's heard?
orange if life is a song don't you think you'd get sick of the chorus?
frog what if i asked you what kind of music you liked and told you that the answer had to be something i'd never heard before?
bird awk! both of you should come to the summer school for designing society. then we'll talk.
another puppetshow altogether?
frog: [starts out kermitesque and grows emphatic] what you going to do this summer?
gooneybird: i thought i might go to design school and study fonts. what about you?
frog: design school. is that where you design school?
bird: no, silly.
frog: no? then it must be where school designs you.
bird: no no no silly, its where you learn to design.
frog: design what?
bird: design.
frog: *sigh* i was just reading in this well-designed design school brochure the sentence "...how design affects designers and their lives."
bird: so?
frog: i used to think designers would affect design and their lives and...
bird: what?
frog: then that life and that design the designers designed would design society! guess i got it wrong. design designs designers. not the otherway around. we're doomed.
bird: so you're saying that design is something which spontaneously occurs, and a designer is somewho which responds to design?
frog: that's not what i'm saying.
bird: but that what the brochure is saying?
frog: nope. that's what the language the brochure uses is saying.
bird: so the brochure is saying one thing and its language is saying something else?
frog: the brochure is being said by its own language.
[sudden appearance of puppet3]
3: hello
bird: howdy!
frog: hey, what are you going to do this summer?
3: oh i've got to get a job.
frog: to be designed by a job?
bird: to be said by your job's language!
3: what?
frog: come to the summer school for designing society.
3: why? bird: why?
frog: lest ye be designed.
let me take a moment to introduce you to just three of the terms i'll be using in the following explanation: *** "global budgeting" *honk* "global" means all "budgeting" means medical services are kept at a reasonable price by a single payer *** single payer *ding* "single" means just one organization "payer" means pays for everybody's health care single payer means just one copayment payer. just one community checkbook committee. just one competitor to manage. *** "universal coverage" *squeak* "universal" means everything "coverage" means is paid for. universal coverage pays for every ache bruise cut diagnosis epidemic faintingspell groan hearttransplant illness juxtaglomerular apparatus kidney liver medication needle operation physical quarantine rash surgical scar tonsilectomy ultrasound virus whimper x ray y chromosome zona reticularis
global budgeting, single payer, universal coverage means you can afford to get sick.
- spots -
William & Mr.Cadaver
[these are ventriloquism bits which take place with the ventriloquist's head behind a screen]
W: mr. cadaver, do you have medical insurance? C: i gotta question for you, wiseguy: why is that even though health insurance don't insure health malpractise insurance insures malpractise? W: mr. cadaver, what a terrible thing to say!
W: hey mr. cadaver. i payed $200 for a hospital checkup and you know what they told me? C: i got my own problems pal. W: they told me i was sick. i left the hospital sicker than i came in. what was all that money for? C: the ambiance. W: i don't get it. C: what would happen if doctors went around curing everybody? everybody would be well and our health care system would collapse. W: is that why people say it's the best in the world?
W: hey mr. cadaver, did you know that to cut costs my hospital is building a clinic for outpatient surgery? C: that's nothing. my hospital has a clinic for drive-through surgery.
W: hey mr.cadaver, something great happened to me today! C: you broke your arm again. W: yeah. how'd you know? C: what's so great about that. if you had broke your head, that'd make me happy. W: i've already paid my deductible! i bought the first one but this broken arm is free!
W: hey mr.cadaver, did you hear the good news? giant health care system reforms are taking place. did you hear about this great new idea called managed competijp2 tion... i mean competitive management? C: haw! haw! haw! ‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹Ä<ˇˇv§ˇˇ¶qxˇˇ~l‰ˇˇÂeˇˇ`fˇˇi[Õˇˇ–V‹‹Ù ˇˇX ˇˇy ˇˇ{ ˇˇÄCÄCÄCÄCÄCÄCÄCÄCÄCÄC< – ˇˇ“ ˇˇ ∑EÒ Ã#‹(<*).4ˇˇ≠ˇˇ@ˇˇÉˇˇ*ˇˇKˇˇˇˇ ˇˇ ˇˇ |