Whatever radio play |
˛7#$+LN-¸6 6 BBBBûD‡D‡D‡D‡D E E FERxB¨4E EÍH=*HgkBH=F:H=H=M“AH=H=H=H=H=H= 1. argument is war Tonight the United States of America 2. argument is not war A disagreement is a single entity, not a conflict between two. 3. war is not argument Nobody gets killed. the activist if you aren't kissing the opposing position you're attacking it in love? of course i am. if i gave romance a big chance WHATEVER radio play cast: whatever radio dj: ted whatever with songs by: the ambivalents
static dj you're listening to more bass on the all low end radio station joni mitchell please help me i think- lc you're listening to the overthrow show, the ooze behind the news, on activist fm. brought to you by multiculture yogurt. i'm left counteract. today a group we don't much care about, the extremist apathists, held a Stop the Caring Now vigil in some city. it was just about the size of all the other ones. thousands of apathists marched down the boulevard carring candles, some of which were lit. these fanaticals were frankly just ignored by the tens of thousands of disinterested people in attendance. frankly, i'm glad to not care. now live coverage via satellite. protesters WE JUST DON'T CARE WE JUST DON'T CARE... ta marches are just like marches. how do they expect people to stop paying attention to them if they're predictable? what do you think? tw oh, whatever radio station you listen to is fine. who cares? well la dee da. i hate knowing things. anyway, whatever. as long as i can't hear the lecture, i'll be fine. (fade in teacher's voice) ta why couldn't they be full of affection instead? et the nuclear weapons symbolize man vs. society vs. man, a timeless and tireless theme among men. lc this just in. the united states has offically attacked the opposing position. a conflict that crossed the boundaries the US has felt comfortable with for centuries has caused a rise in temperatures and tension. experts agree that the opposing position is strategically indefensible. opposing positions are standing on shakey ground without a leg to stand on. the united states is expected to win this fight. the us has issued a warning that if the enemy uses unfair tactics such as cheap and pot shots the us will overreact. and get really mad. worse than last time. ta ever wonder what's really going on? tw ongoing wonder. really whatever. scene two vg that was the latest from the bleeding hearts with a she side called she she she. my name is velvet goldmine and you're drooling over romantic rock on the runny one. all romantic interludes all the time. soft music that stays in the background. the next liter of diet rock is brought to you by new water lite: the thinner crystal liquid. and by tummy-x, the one step malnutrition program. now the latest by the latents. the latents it's really the easiest thing to be in love with you tr oooh. that song makes me nostalgic for a dream i don't remember having! whenever i hear a song like that, or see a scene in a movie like that, i want to make it mine. don't you just love... love? tw maybe. but whatever. tr oh i understand. right before i met love, whatever was all i could think. now, if i think, i think whatever i think love is thinking. dst good morning class. i've decided to teach designing society. tw whatever. dst exactly. excellent point: designing whatever society we want to live in. today we are going to watch a film.
vg how could he? hey kid, turn the projector down. i don't want this in any of my listeners' backgrounds. dst quiet down, dj, i'm trying to teach a class. dsf i think my film's about to break. scene three ted who cares? im ted whatever and you're listening to whatever on the undecided show telling you: don't make up your mind. this is w.h.a.t.e.v.e.r. the same old thing every day. it doesn't matter what music we play because you aren't even listening. now the latest old song by the Ambivalents: Club Whatever. the ambivalents we're probably going to club whatever tr i can't decide whether to pass a note or give flowers. tw wow. the whatever station has such a powerful signal it's coming through the pa system. but anyway i don't feel about this presentation by one of our classmates. he's opposed to the united states attacking the opposition. he's starting a student group called kiss the opposition. but anyway. ta my fellow kids. scene four vo [love is a registered trademark of Romantico] dj Jackie M, tm, how old are you? jm i'm ten, left. dj how did you get to be such an old kid, jm tm? jm i never mix business with pleasure, left, it makes a very bad drink. tw whatever are you listening to? ta im listening to the acties station. dj and how old were you when you first built the velvet empire tm? jm i was nine, left. tw you'd better turn it down. music teacher doesn't like you to listen to radio in class. mt okay class today we're going to talk about music okay i've brought in some lovesongs protesting our countries offenses in the last three major conflicts okay? okay? ta okay. tw whatever. dj tm, you have been widely criticized by homeowners and poets alike for commodifying love tm, the most basic biological necessity. ta hit him with your best kiss, left! mt okay i brought in these songs to show you that love songs and protest songs are the same kind of song. okay? tw okay whatever. jm ha, left, love was a marketing strategy from the very beginning. i just saw an expensive thing and bought it. dj i couldnt agree with you more, tm. ta that'll show him who's left! mt well, beautiful, i disagree. Romantico is a faux hoax! the only romance left is the Romance with the Social! dj hey kid can you turn your radio down? mt the only unselfish love is love which is not focused on a single person. love looks around. romance with the social. jm i'd like to dance with your listener, left. first of all, Romantico treats each of its employees as if they were the most important person in the world. dj the epa has recently leveled huge fines against Romantico tm for valentine dumping. to say nothing of last february's pink spill in the mediterranean. ta dip him left! jm we love the epa! we can afford to! mt we'll be right back with It Takes the Whole World to Tango dj you're a listener you can't do that! mt ...with left counteract and his irritating guest... jm hey! mt ...jackie m from the hallmark of fame, a kid who failed tambourine. but back into the music class now, by way of illustration a song about the equal distribution of concern. tw okay! ole'! chorus of angels please help me i think i'm falling asleep again.
other stuff: willia's whatever song?
"whatever" she said. it was clear that she meant it "whatever" she said enrapt in conviction "whatever" she said with fury and fire "whatever" she said with air of finality the "whatever" she pulled from her sleeve
i can't afford to care i cant invest in it i cant donate my time to it look: i'll pen a couple stanzas but it's all that i got. udst good morning class. last night i read your essays and lost interest in my own subject matter. so today we're going to watch a movie about utopia. american high schools ûSICN ‘÷+L+O+€+‹+„+Â+˚6 6)6à6â6û6ü6Ω6‹6Ù7S7k7l7r7≠7∏7∆8‘8fl8Ë8Í9J9™9´9¨:®:©:≤:≥:¿:Ã:È:Ï:Ì:Ó:Û:Ù; tw [applause] whatever! ta you want to avoid disagreement and discuss it as a fight between two sides. but a disagreement is a single flower watered by two streams of consciousness. let your ideas and opinions flow! ta i wanted to mention in particular and issue surrounded by a puddle of extremely wet controversy: the united states attack on the opposing position. if we all purse our lips in protest, maybe we can convince our country to kiss the opponent instead! protesters WEIT"S NOT OUR PROBLEM IT"S NOT OUR PROBLEM what katie didn't take home: ted so what? i'm ted whatever and you're under the air. what's up? tw hi ted. love your show. ted so? tw i'm calling from school. i'm at an assembly where a fellow kid is trying to convince me to change my metaphors for disagreement. he's asking me to care about the united states and i don't know if i feel comfortable with that. ted kid, just nod a lot and say "yeah" occasionally. whatever. just don't pay attention. don't listen to anyone. even me. tw okay ted. thanks a lot. tw wait don't hang up. listen, i think ted is wrong. i think i should care. ted c'mon, kid. you're getting wet. tw i do? why should i care? well okay. whatever. ted atta kid. tw let me plant disagreements between me. ted i like to see how the listener feels. sometimes. but now back into the background with another song you don't have to listen to to be haunted by for decades: i don't want to get upset about it by the dry mirages followed by no tears tonight by the who cares. who cares?restaurant scenetw ongoing wonder?jackie mwhatever. jm i'm fiftejm i was fourteen&}&—)Ñ-Òˇˇ,ˇˇRˇˇlˇˇˇˇeˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ ˇˇ Zapf DingbatsBookmanN Helvetica NarrowPalatino |